The Gift

Winter snow is falling down, children laughing all around.

Lights are turnin' on, like a fairy tale come true.

Sitting by the fire we made, you're the answer when I prayed

I would find some one, and baby I found you.

And all I want is to hold you forever.

All I need is you more everyday. You saved my heart from being broken apart,

you gave your love away, and I'm thankful everyday for the gift.

Dearest Jamey,

Nearly thirteen years ago you gave me your heart and pledged your love at our wedding. Nearly 8 years ago you gave me your heart again, at even greater risk. God used you to change my life forever that day. The lyrics to this song have always been meaningful to me because I believe that you did save my heart and my life from ruin when you chose to give me your heart again. We have climbed mountains and we have certainly walked some dark valleys together. Through all of it we have grown closer and more appreciative of what the other brings to our partnership. So, as we begin this time of exciting change and progress in our lives I celebrate you as my partner in all these adventures. You are my best friend, you are wise counsel, you are my own personal comedian and a fiercely loyal partner regardless of circumstance. Thank you, dear one, for giving your love away not once, or even twice, but every day. Thank you for taking a risk with your trust and faith in me. Thank you for being authentic with me and letting me in to your life. Thank you for always being on the front lines fighting for US. I love you more than I know how to say. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Your wife

Your song makes me want to dance

I got up at 5 am this morning to put into action my Valentines Day plan; only to find that my wife had beaten me to it. Yesterday, I was out with my friend Brian who was buying something for his wife for Valentines Day and I was telling him of my great plan to write about the love Karrie and I have for each other on her blog as my gift to her for this holiday. So, I snuck downstairs this morning while everyone was still asleep and went to my wife’s blog to log in and post and found an open letter from my wife to me that expressed her love to me in a beautiful way. After almost thirteen years of marriage we are doing far more than finishing each others sentences, we are truly moving as one.

What I have learned over the years is that our love is like learning to dance; yes the goal is to move as one but the journey of figuring out how to do that is just as meaningful. I am not a particularly good dancer so I am familiar with what can be awkwardness of trying to move and not being sure if you are going to move in such a way that your partner will go with you. Learning to dance together means bumping into one another and stepping on each others feet; the cool thing is when you become secure in the affection of your partner you’re not so worried about looking foolish or being embarrassed but you figure it out together. Having the right partner means you can even laugh and enjoy the clumsiness of the learning the dance together.

I think Karrie and I love mastering the dance of life together, we have mastered so many elements of life and we have worked out many beautiful choreographed dances where we can move as one. At the same time we also love the process of the learning so we seem to seek out new dances to learn together as we grow. We have come not to panic when the music of life changes and we must find a new way to dance together; but we embrace it knowing that we will enjoy figuring it out together.

So, as the music of our life is changing now and we head into many new things at the same time I look forward to us learning yet another new dance and to continue to move as one. I love you Karrie; thanks for the dance.

Jamey

My Girl

This little girl started from the beginning to redefine parenting for me. She has challenged most of my assumptions and pushed buttons I didn't know I had! And I wouldn't give back a minute of it. She is vibrant and strong and her contagious laugh makes it nearly impossible not to join in. I love her penchant for flare and flash and her unabashed expression of her own style. She sings nearly every minute, even under her breath when she is supposed to be quiet. I love this girl. I love her passion. If she cares about something...she CARES about it, whether we find it of much concern or none at all, she feels it all in a BIG way. This is going to be valuable someday.

My prayer for my girl is that the she will allow her passionate spirit to be gently harnessed by God.The world needs folks with her passion who are in love with their Lord and driven to share it with all they meet. Its no accident that she is the girl she is, I am proud to be her Mama and I know I still will learn so much as I seek to shape her in the way the Lord would have me shape her.

3rd Birthday !!!

Today is Joebens 3rd birthday! I don't know where 3 years went. He is such a pickle, very animated and sooooo loving. He lights up the day of anyone who ventures near him. In the store yesterday he said "hello", and "pardon me" to nearly every person we passed. He had a shirt that I found on clearance for his birthday and he was holding it as such a treasure. When we were in line a nice "Grandma" lady said hello and he said, "Hello, I have my shirt. I will try it on when Mama buys it for me." She asked if he liked his shirt and of course she received and emphatic "Yeah". She smiled so brightly when he answered that way. Its not a life-changing moment, but its a life-blessing moment. He has a way of making the stresses around disappear for a minute while you join him in his happy 3 year old world. Happy Birthday little man. We love you.

A Precious Guy

Here's a precious guy for you. What would life be like without this boy in it? I have learned so much about relationships from him. He is a lot like me; worried about everyone and trying to fix "it", tempted to say what you want to hear. He is also light years ahead of me, he has humble confidence, such a kind heart, and a wit that will soon blast past his Dad's. His enthusiasm for the upcoming changes in his life has been a shining example and encouragement to me. He embraces challenge ready to succeed but okay with the possibility of failing. His perspective has served to take some of the sting out of the coming separation. I have learned through prayer, thinking, prayer, ( and did I say prayer?) that I have believed that being with me is the perfect place for him. While its a good place, probably one of the better places, its not THE place for him. God is the place for this precious young man. Wherever he attends school be it home, public, private or none at all - God is where he belongs and all else can be filtered through that truth. While I don't look forward to letting him go, I am so thankful to have the more than capable hands of our heavenly Father to place him in. I am privileged to walk beside him in this new chapter of his journey, as his mother and his friend.

Super Bowl Party

What a terrific time we had with our friends and kiddos at the superbowl party! It was such a pleasure to see them again after my time away. My friend Sally is pictured here with Joseph - she is such a treasure to me. It is so good to have folks come into your home and just fall into place, which is what they all do.

Our Corridor group is awesome. I am excited about what is to come and how we can minister to each other and the world around us. Just learning to love each other, to authentically lean on each other, and to leave gentle room for differences is exciting to me. I know that God has plans for the Corridor group and I am thankful to be a part of them and for each one that is a part of us. God is so good.

God of the Details

There is no doubt that God is God of everything. I don't question the big stuff much anymore. But I do wrestle with the details. The things that matter to me, but in the big picture, aren't all that vital. I have hashed this over with my husband and with other loved ones (you know who you are). I still wrestle and think and wonder...but lately, things that matter to me, but not to the fate of the world, appear to be orchestrated by his loving hand.

I had a job interview Friday with a very neat person. The job and the office look like a terrific place to work, I think I really would like this job. The hang-up is the picking the kids up/dropping them off and working that out with husband's schedule. When she and I compared notes regarding the work schedule, her needs matched up nearly exactly with ours! Down to the time of day etc.! I have been offered the job and will most likely accept it. The point is, many things about this job are perfect for me, its the first listing I found when I started to look and the one I wanted the most. Those all feel important to me, but nothing was so worriesome as the schedule and getting to the kids when I need to. Though I am sure there will be many hiccups and imperfections along the way, this very "dire" detail seems to have been lovingly taken care of.

We are hosting a super bowl party for our Corridor group tonight. I am excited about it. Not just because its the super bowl (and I DO love football), but because its something I can do WITH my husband. Together we can prepare our home space and our hearts for loving on these precious folks, and together we can yell at the game and refill the chili bowls around the room. Together we can play, laugh and pray and everything in between. Doing things with my husband is another "vital detail" to me; thus this game and party are a gift from above. Yes, God uses even football! ;-)

I am rambling, I don't think my coffee has kicked in yet; but I know that God is working out these "little" things in my life, perhaps just so I will tell others how BIG his love is, so big that it reaches us through the mundane details of human life.